


remember when

by renecdote



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Dick misses Wally even when he doesn't remember him, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, mostly just the hurt though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 02:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renecdote/pseuds/renecdote
Summary: “You’re special to me.” Wally’s voice is low, a hiss that makes Dick’s skin prickle. “You’re the most special person in my life and you don’t even remember me.”“No,” Dick says. No, that’s not true. No, I wouldn’t forget. No, this is just a dream. He doesn’t know what he means, there’s too many thoughts, too many maybe-memories-maybe-nots tangled in his head.Dick Grayson doesn't remember Wally West, but some part of him knows that someone important is missing from his life.





	remember when

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot to post this one here oops. Have some birdflash angst set loosely during the Nightwing amnesia arc.

The music is too loud. Or maybe it isn’t, maybe it’s Dick’s head that is too loud. Sounds and smells and flashes of images behind his eyelids, a nauseating kaleidoscope of past, present and god knows what else. It all pulses in his head, pounding, hammering, thumping, an anvil against stone, a fist against a punching bag.

(“Woah there, Dick. What did that punching bag ever do you?”)

Dick slams back the rest of his whiskey. He pinches the bridge of his nose so hard it hurts; it’s still not enough to distract from the circus in his head. “Another,” he says to Bea.

Bea shakes her head. “I’m cutting you off, Ric. Go home.”

Red hair flashes in the corner of Dick’s eyes. He clenches his fist on his knee. Go home. Right. And where the fuck is that?

(Freckles, green eyes, crooked smile.)

(“Hey, handsome.”)

“I’ll call you a cab,” Bea says but Dick is already leaving.

He stumbles onto the street and Bludhaven’s cold, polluted air smacks him in the face. The noise from the bar is muffled when the door slams shut. Dick looks left and right down the street. He thinks he sees a blur of red in the corner of eye, but it’s just the alcohol. There’s nothing there. Dick shakes his head. Home, he’s supposed to be going home. Right then. He picks a direction and starts walking.

—

Dick dreams of sunshine. Sand beneath his back, in his hair, sticking to the blood on the side of his face. The sky is on fire and the world is ringing. But it could be worse; if he has to die somewhere, a beach is a nice enough place. Everything is so fuzzy. Dick lets his eyes fall shut.

“Robin.”

The voice feels like it’s coming from far away.

“Get up.”

It’s so hard to concentrate, but that voice won’t let Dick sink back into unconsciousness.

“C’mon, Rob, _get up._ ”

Dick opens his eyes. The fire is closer. Is the sky falling? He blinks. No, not fire, red hair. Kid Flash is leaning over him, a frown where there should be a bright grin.

“Wally,” Dick says, but it’s okay because he doesn’t say it very loudly.

Wally look away, lips moving, shouting to somewhere beyond Dick’s grasp. There’s something going on, something important. The world is on fire.

“Hold on,” Wally says, voice only for Dick now, “I’m gonna get you out of here, Dick.”

Dick tries to sit up. His fingers dig into Wally’s arms, clinging to that anchor as the world spins. Red and orange and blotches of inky black. He feels disconnected, like his head has spun right off his body and is floating somewhere above. The sun is hot and the world is burning. Dick hopes Wally will still be there when it’s over.

—

Dick wakes feeling like a truck hit him. Or a bullet. Heh. Probably too soon to be making those kinds of jokes. He rolls over in cotton sheets he doesn’t recognise and buries his face in a pillow. It smells like… something. Something salty and familiar.

(Red hair, golden sand, “c’mon, Rob, _get up”_.)

He shakes it away as he rolls out of bed. Heavy and sore, feeling like he hasn’t slept at all.

 _Maybe I should take a holiday_ , he thinks, just get away from everything and everyone he’s supposed to know. Somewhere warm, sunny. Maybe a beach.

He rubs at the headache building behind his eyes. Yeah, right, a holiday. Maybe he should just head to the bar and have another drink instead.

—

Sometimes the dreams don’t feel like dreams at all. The feel real, tangible, like a memory he’s experiencing for the first time all over again.

“You brought me flowers.”

Roses, six of them, petals a perfect dark red. Dick rubs the back of his neck. “I thought we should do this properly,” he says.

Wally rolls his eyes, but it’s fond. “I don’t think there’s anything proper about a stakeout as a first date, Dick.”

“A stakeout _and_ dinner,” Dick corrects. He drops the takeaway bag in Wally’s lap and drops down beside him.

They look at each other and laugh. The roses really are a ridiculous touch to the burgers and sodas on one of Bludhaven’s dirty rooftops. A neon sign buzzes above them, illuminating Wally’s face in unflattering green. Dick thinks he looks gorgeous.

“Hey.” Wally nudges Dick’s leg with his own. “Do I have something on my face?”

“What?”

“It’s just that I thought you were supposed to be starring at bad guys all night not at me.”

Dick rolls his eyes. The world doesn’t exist outside them; there’s no city noise, no polluted air, no bad guys. Just him and Wally and the rooftop beneath them.

Sometimes the memories get twisted. Happy endings disappearing in a bang that leaves Dick screaming, calling out for someone he won’t remember when he wakes up.

Sometimes the endings aren’t happy to begin with.

Sometimes they are though, and sometimes they stay that way.

Sometimes it’s just Dick and Wally and a rooftop and that’s all it needs to be.

—

Dick wakes feeling light, happy. He smiles into baby blue sheets. He can’t remember the last time he woke up smiling.

(Red hair, sleepy eyes, lazy kisses.)

He’s still smiling as he stands under the weak pressure of a shower-head that is much too low. Bea cut him off again before he could drink too much last night and his head doesn’t hate him this morning. He actually feels… almost good.

Dick hums as he scrubs rose-scented soap over his body. Maybe today will actually be an alright day.

—

Dick dreams of home. Or what he thinks should be home. He knows this apartment. He doesn’t remember it, but he _knows_ it. The way he knows how he likes his coffee, and how to box, and what steps his feet should take in the moment to do a waltz.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Dick’s attention snaps to the other side of the room. Wally is there. Taller, older, as old as he should be now. Dick doesn’t know how he knows what age Wally is supposed to be, what he’s supposed to look like, but he does. He remembers, just for a moment, just for this moment.

“You’re special to me.” Wally’s voice is low, a hiss that makes Dick’s skin prickle. “You’re the most special person in my life and you don’t even remember me.”

“No,” Dick says. No, that’s not true. No, I wouldn’t forget. No, this is just a dream. He doesn’t know what he means, there’s too many thoughts, too many maybe-memories-maybe-nots tangled in his head.

“Call me when you’ve remembered that you love me, Dick Grayson.”

_I do love you, I do, I do, I care about you, I know I do._

The door slams shut and the apartment is silent. Empty. Dick is left standing alone in the middle of a room he knows but doesn’t recognise. It’s as if Wally was never even there.

–

Dick wakes with a heavy feeling in his chest and tear tracks on his cheeks. He’s sad. Sad about… something. Something important, something that is just out of reach. He doesn’t remember but he feels, he _knows_ , that something is missing.

(Red hair, green eyes, freckles, crooked smile.)

(“Hey, handsome.”)

He just wishes he knew what.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! If you liked it, kudos and comments are always appreciated. You can also find me on tumblr [here](http://renecdote.tumblr.com).


End file.
